Simon Volpert


Philosophy drop-out and self-proclaimed synthesist. Handle with care.

  • 2018-10-25T18:47:33Z via AndStatus To: Public

    A wall of water right outside the window. Rivers flowing down the streets. Finally, fine weather!

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  • 2018-10-16T14:29:38Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Watching your own living blood play under a microscope at x1800 magnification is a remarkably profound experience i can definitely recommend to anyone.

    I'd rather not talk about my blood, much less see it xD

    JanKusanagi at 2018-10-16T14:39:05Z

  • 2018-10-07T16:11:57Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Contrary to most of my peers, i'm not in the slightest religious about eating or avoiding meat; But this slab of deceased bird is just slightly charred, with no spices, no herbs, no sauce and no taste to speak of. I'm sorry to say, but this chicken has died in vain!

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  • 2018-10-02T13:35:19Z via AndStatus To: Public

    "I'm not panicking. I'm just scared shirtless."

    Ah, much better then =)

    JanKusanagi at 2018-10-02T13:59:39Z

    If you are capable of parsing this horribly mangled idiom, then i am, indeed, thoroughly impressed.

    Simon Volpert at 2018-10-03T06:10:50Z

    We might never know...

    Or we might know yesterday!

    JanKusanagi at 2018-10-03T14:08:34Z

  • 2018-08-16T09:59:45Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Any "investment scheme" that is more profitable to sell than it is to use is, most likely, not worth buying either.
  • 2018-08-13T07:57:48Z via AndStatus To: Public

    One unspecified cowboy enters one unspecified bar. This specific bartender asks: "What will it be?" This specific cowboy answers: "Give me one unspecified whiskey"...

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  • 2018-08-09T19:20:09Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Renewable energy: energy derived from harvesting the byproducts of a very large, non-renewable thermonuclear fusion reactor.

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  • 2018-08-08T13:12:57Z via AndStatus To: Public

    My three-year-old son is falling asleep to symphonic rock. I don't think there is anything else i could possibly teach him.

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  • 2018-08-07T18:56:24Z via AndStatus To: Public

    I don't get on the Internet so i can get some more hateful ignorance. I get enough of that from mainstream media already.

    realitynapper likes this.

    Are you implying that "the internet" is not mainstream media, in 2018? xD

    JanKusanagi at 2018-08-07T19:07:23Z

  • 2018-08-06T12:22:38Z via AndStatus To: Public

    My government can't seem to figure out how to not bounce perfectly valid emails i send at it. You'd think three years would be enough for such a basic task, but, then again, governments are not exactly known to be very efficient, if at all.

  • 2018-07-24T14:28:17Z via AndStatus To: Public

    "Greetings! You science-man, yes? Teach I, aborigine, how to build such bow, to shoot sun from sky."

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  • 2018-06-24T13:28:28Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Q: Given a game with an improbable 50% probability and a 200% payout, what is the most likely long-term, large-scale outcome you can reasonably expect? A: The house wins; The majority of those who win play again. The majority of those who lose leave the casino.

  • 2018-06-09T15:27:22Z via AndStatus To: Public

    I'm becoming slow, sentimental and weather-sensitive. I'll be damned! I must be getting old.

    Tanya, realitynapper likes this.

  • 2018-05-14T19:04:07Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Why doesn't anyone believe me when i say i don't know what i'm doing?...

    realitynapper likes this.

    You exude confidence!!


    JanKusanagi at 2018-05-14T19:13:32Z

    They are unbelievers)))

    realitynapper at 2018-05-16T17:50:35Z

  • 2018-04-01T19:13:36Z via AndStatus To: Public

    You may not be aware of it, but in This Country™, Sunday is, in fact, Monday.

    There is no punchline.

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  • 2018-03-20T16:48:59Z via AndStatus To: Public

    If things go on like this, i have a feeling i'm going to acquire a reputation of a terminal idealist.

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  • 2018-03-10T09:56:17Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Observation: No matter how tired i already am, i stll ascend the stairs by running, because walking up is too tiresome.

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  • 2018-03-03T13:21:32Z via AndStatus To: Public

    Back in 2010 i wanted to cut down on gaming, hoping to channel the time and energy into something creative. It turns out i got it backwards: today, i don't have time for gaming because i'm too busy doing something creative.

    realitynapper likes this.

    Aaah, balance, the magical word =)

    JanKusanagi at 2018-03-03T14:17:15Z

    George Standish likes this.

  • 2018-02-26T07:32:32Z via AndStatus To: Public

    "...Because i'm working on a most exciting project right now! How exciting, you ask?... No? Okay."

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  • 2018-02-21T20:05:49Z via AndStatus To: Public

    There's nothing but this
    Sixteen gram square of chocolate
    That i respect more

    realitynapper, Tanya likes this.