Simon Volpert | @simon@zombienet.org

Philosophy dropout and self-proclaimed synthesist. Handle with care.

O, ye of little paint!

"I'm at work right now, and, can you even believe it? They're making me WORK, here!"

"Warning! Not reading this warning sign is punishable by law!"

My guiding principle when dealing with humans may well be "He, who done it, knows what he done, and why!"

Is it still just a theory if there's an actual conspiracy?

"Oh, no! Someone hates a thing i like! I need to reevaluate my life's choices."

"Wait a second, i don't get it, do i not get it, or do i actually do, but my brain refuses to process this kind of bullsh!t?"

"I don't feel people sufficiently appreciate me being here in the first place."

"No matter how hard it gets, no matter what sacrifices have to be made, I will never give up my freedom to make an evil, manipulative, predatory corporation filthy rich!"

The prerequisite for abolishing borders is abolishing conflicts.

Dirty minds think alike.

Ideology is just interests made universal and absolute.

"I hereby thoroughly and categorically deny understanding anything about anything with regards to the current situation."

If silence is golden, why the hell am i not rich?

According to a modern, fashionable school of thought, to be human means to be flawed, show weakness, make mistakes, hesitate, doubt yourself, be inefficient, be inconsistent and, apparently, be at risk of extinction. The benefits you get from being human must be mindblowingly awesome to compensate for all that.

"Will you PLEASE stop bombing?! My friend here needs to look at spam!..."

"Haha, Serious Tech Company is so clueless and incompetent! Very technology, much respect. Just to think that some of them are in charge of life-critical infrastructure!... Oh... Wait... Wait a minute!..."

"I can take on anything in this restaurant! Bring it!"
(A massive, towering dessert appears)
"...I admit defeat."

"The bad news is, everything is terrible. The good news is, it can get much worse!"

When i woke up this morning, i didn't know i was going to be cut off from everything i care about for twelve hours. There probably should be some kind of profound conclusion here, but i can't be arsed.