ZombieNet

Found something resembling poetry from about twenty years ago in a folder on an old disk from four computers ago. Oh, hell no! Into "shred -zu" you go!

"The robber baron who robs you has been generating lots of profit recently. You should invest in them and get a share of the gains!"

A tower defense game, except you're not allowed to kill the invaders and you lose as soon as any of them passes through.

"Achoo!" — "Serves you right!"

One of the fastest ways to teach someone about the futility of violence, is to show them that attacking people hurts. Which is done by violencing the f*#% out of them.

You eat a can of food. You feel uncanny.

Argument from I Knew You Would Say That

@tek
So, let me get this straight. They are bypassing a provider to cut their costs, and then they're lowering the price by 50% instead of making 100% more profit? Dare i say, what kind of ridiculous anticapitalist nonsense is that?

@tek
Don't steal from the rich?! But that's where the money is!...

"I say, you are doing God's work... And I'm an atheist!"

@mytwobits01
I debated with myself whether to write it like that. In the end, i decided to go with the (subjectively) funnier version.

@mytwobits01
There would be a lot more billionaires in the world if it wasn't for those pesky billionaires!... I mean... Uh...

"I haven't found myself yet." — "Oh. Did you check under the couch?"

You can't build a successful business on pure jealousy.

Just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

"Out of office until Thursday. In case of emergency, pray to Cthulhu."

"Hey, newspaper, i don't have time to read you anymore, so i'm going to have to cancel my subscription."
"Okay, we'll stop charging you money for the newspaper delivery."
"...And you'll stop delivering it, right?..."
"..."

@tek
Is that even legal, and if so how and why?

@tek
I read that as "dumb as a box of rockets". There should be a punchline here, but i don't think i can come up with anything worthy of that mental image.
@jalefkowit

"After extensive deliberation with myself, i have made a decision to not question those here compliments i received."