ZombieNet

Simon Volpert | @simon@zombienet.org

Philosophy dropout and self-proclaimed synthesist. Handle with care.

I, for one, can barely wait until every loudspeaker and headphone turns obsolete due to widespread adoption of in-ear audio implants. Not only will it bring an unparalleled listening experience, but also, finally, a real possibility to opt out of listening to other people's soundtracks.

I debated with myself whether to release my toy project, which is functionally complete, or wait until i have gathered enough test data to conclude proper stability and balance. Eventually, i decided to adhere to my Minimum Acceptable Release Quality policy. Now i'm glad i did.

To say "incomplete information" is to assume that information can ever be complete, which is, scientifically speaking, complete bullsh!t.

"Five steps away from the abyss? Cool! There's plenty of time to play around. Remind me when it's TWO steps away." With this kind of attitude, humans should have been extinct by now, and yet, here they are.

"Solving a problem you never had, while introducing several *other* problems you *also* never had, AND being disagreeable at every step? Why, yes! We are *thoroughly* impressed! Please, solve something else! Way over there, this time, if you don't mind, thanks..."

The overwhelming majority of people are sensible; They can be reliably expected to act in accordance with their own best interests, as broadly or as narrowly as they understand them, and go out of their way to avoid taking actions they themselves find unreasonable. To think otherwise is to entertain a false sense of superiority.

It is my understanding, that i don't get paid to get along with people; I get paid, to get some useful work done. Getting along with people is either a pleasant bonus, or one of the means, by which said useful work will be done more easily and effectively. Hmm. Gotta check if "goal-oriented" is on my résumé.

Coding as part of a game modification is 30% missing or incomplete documentation, 30% lacking or inconsistent API, 30% low-level hacks to handle basic type conversion and 10% dream fulfillment. And those last 10% make it all worth it.

"Okay, so if you KNOW that a nuke is a dangerous thing, then why keep it in your closet?" — "Uh, to light up a party?"

That i think the things you obsess about are silly, is hardly indicative, because i also think that the things *i myself* obsess about are silly.

I used to think i know what's going on, but now i know better.

Life is pain. Life is suffering. Life is constant struggle, self-doubt and never-ending existential dread. And it's the nice ones, who suffer the most.

"Me, snobbish? What the HELL is WRONG with you?! You have no idea how offensive, insulting and *uncalled for* this is! I'm the humblest person i know!"

Protip: Yelling at someone, more often than not, renders them useless for society for a duration directly proportional to their psi-strength.

It seems that i've uploaded a broken file; Now i'm counting the seconds untill i get to fix it, resignedly waiting for someone to point it out to me, and half-hoping and half-fearing that nobody does.

When your opponents resort to elaborate analysis, simplistic, emotional responses on your side are very unlikely to help your case.

"Stop swearing! It doesn't suit you!" — "Well, then, i guess, i'm sorry that my self-control isn't as flawless, as you would like it to be..."

The only sensible course of action to take when a Messiah makes his coming, declares the End if Days and starts passing his arbitrary judgement, is to pull out a conveniently prepared high-caliber sniper rifle, load it with uranium rounds and take a shot.

What does the-institution-that-holds-your-money's website and a well-written, secure piece of software have in common? Not that much. This is, actually, an improvement: four years ago, the answer was "absolutely nothing".

Rewriting history is easy. *Not* rewriting it, even though you have that option, is, on the other hand, ridiculously hard. I'm telling you this as someone, who has spent a significant portion of his life gaming.

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