ZombieNet

Simon Volpert | @simon@zombienet.org

Philosophy dropout and self-proclaimed synthesist. Handle with care.

Watching your own living blood play under a microscope at x1800 magnification is a remarkably profound experience i can definitely recommend to anyone.

Contrary to most of my peers, i'm not in the slightest religious about eating or avoiding meat; But this slab of deceased bird is merely slightly charred, with no spices, no herbs, no sauce and no taste to speak of. I'm sorry to say, but this chicken has died in vain!

If you are capable of parsing that horribly mangled idiom, then i am, indeed, *thoroughly* impressed.

"I'm not panicking. I'm just scared shirtless."

Any "investment scheme" that is more profitable to *sell* than it is to *use* is, most likely, not worth *buying* either.

One unspecified cowboy enters one unspecified bar. This specific bartender asks: "What will it be?" This specific cowboy answers: "Give me one unspecified whiskey"...

Renewable energy: energy derived from harvesting the byproducts of a very large, non-renewable thermonuclear fusion reactor.

My three-year-old son is falling asleep to symphonic rock. I don't think there is anything else i could possibly teach him.

"I don't get on the Internet so i can get some more hateful ignorance. I get enough of that from mainstream media already."

My government can't seem to figure out how to not bounce perfectly valid emails i send at it. You'd think three years would be enough for such a basic task, but, then again, governments are not exactly known to be overly efficient.

"Greetings! You science-man, yes? Teach I, aborigine, how to build such bow, to shoot sun from sky."

It's not necessary to rig the game or have a house edge. All that's necessary, is that those, who win, play again, and those, who lose, leave the casino.

I'm becoming slow, sentimental and weather-sensitive. I'll be damned! I must be getting old.

Why doesn't *anyone* believe me when i say i don't know what i'm doing?...

You may not be aware of it, but in This Country™, Sunday is, in fact, Monday.

There is no punchline.

If things go on like this, i have a feeling i'm going to acquire a reputation of a terminal idealist.

Observation: No matter how tired i already am, i stll ascend the stairs by running, because walking up is too tiresome.

Back in 2010 i wanted to cut down on gaming, hoping to channel the time and energy into something creative. It turns out i got it backwards: today, i don't have time for gaming *because* i'm too busy doing something creative.

"...Because i'm working on a most exciting project right now! How exciting, you ask?... No? Okay."

There's nothing but this
Sixteen gram square of chocolate
That i respect more

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