"Hey, sweety, can i have your kick scooter for a second? Mommy wants to see me go down the hill and fall on my face. Thanks!" (rolls down and falls) "Not a very satisfying fall... I'll try again tomorrow."
"This site contains absolutely no ads. If you see any, someone is scamming you."
"What time is it, why am i sleepy like it's late night, when it's only... Oh. Right."
There aren't many people in the world, who i'd be happy to see disappear without a trace... But there are. And, therein lies the tragedy.
The capacity for criminal thinking is only useful when absolutely no one has any clue you have got any.
My day job: a daily nine-hour strength and endurance workout, for which i also get paid. Admittedly, i could do without. Well, maybe not.
"Simon, as someone, who deeply respects your work ethic and responsiveness, and fully recognizes the immense contribution you bring to the workspace, I have only one request for you: don't help your fellow man."
"Parliamentary speaker suffers concussion after hearing a particularly awful argument from a minority party member."
This Country is the only country i know, where The Party For The Destruction Of This Country (PFTDOTC) has representatives in the parliament.
International politics: the fine art of selling someone that, which they have enough of, for that, which they don't have enough of, all while making them feel guilty for being so selfish.
A book, in which you are not allowed to scribble, does not belong to you, no matter how much you paid for it.
If i were an X-Man, my power would probably be something uncanny like See Visible.
"I don't get paid enough to think while i'm on the job. I do it only because i am physically incapable of doing otherwise."
I am told i am someone who is very hard to get into a quarrel with; But, i firmly believe, that there is nothing someone can't do, if they really put their mind to it.
A lot of people deserve to be yelled at, but, unfortunately, none of them is likely to benefit from it.
I suspect i might be a little sleep-deprived. I base my suspicion on the fact i hardly ever get enough sleep.