I wonder if there's a way to promote my microblog without sounding like the attention-seeker that i am.
I find it Greatly Depressing how, not being a Government, i missed many a Golden opportunity.
Sign of a civilized person: going around obstacles, even when the fastest route is over or through them.
Anyone, who expects some cunning from me, is up for disappointment. I'm straight as a ruler, and just as flexible!
"The Villain", my 2008 short story, is now finally available in English, in addition to Russian. I call this an accomplished day.
https://simonvolpert.com/villain-en/
https://simonvolpert.com/villain-en/
The principle of non-aggression works only until you run into a party, for whom your very existence is an act of aggression.
In our troubled world, whoever is more miserable, is right. The only problem is, being miserable is no fun.
"It's not because i don't care — even though i really don't, but that's not the reason!..."
"Just so you know, i've been 'holding myself together' for years. People have been mercilessly pushing and poking me day in, day out, and the moment i finally lose my self-control, everybody suddenly acts offended? I tell you, it's a miracle i held for so long!"
"Feel like you're living in a dystopian nightmare? You might be! Call the OH-HELL hotline to find out! Remember: when in doubt, call OH-HELL, 24/7! (Toll number at $99.99 per second. Your call may be recorded and retained for analysis and monetization at the company's sole discretion. Void where prohibited. Standard restrictions apply.)
"Well, that was an interesting experience. If i was someone, who drinks, it would cause me to get hammered."
"Honey, I decided to perform a heroic feat. Could you call the dragon and negotiate a meeting for this Saturday? Thanks!"
"Ugh, I hate smartasses! Especially, when they make such compelling, reasonable arguments!"
70% of all people believe they are above average, which is impossible. But it's okay if you actually ARE above average, right?
You know you're made for each other when both of you independently decide it would be HILARIOUS if they played "Du Hast" on your wedding.
Assessing the fairness of a system is complicated by the fact winners are biased towards saying "yes" and losers — towards saying "no".
Whenever someone makes you a take-it-or-leave-it offer, 9 times out of 10 the smart thing to do is to leave it. At top speed, without delay, and without looking back.
"Everything is terrible! We must tear it all down and start doing things exactly like we do now, only more so! Viva la revolución!..."
We have reached an interesting state, when the phrase "and bought an apartment" immediately invalidates the premise of someone with a difficult life we're supposed to feel sorry for.