My sudden surge of creativity was successfully thwarted by a severe case of faulty software. Curse you, editor that won't let me save my work!
Russians don't have an equivalent for "Get out of my face!", 'cause why bother telling someone that, if you can just punch him right in it?
"Darling, there are monsters in the room! Please, hurry and scare them away with your naked butt!"
Evil may never sleep; The problem is that Not Evil doesn't either, and they're often impossible to tell apart.
Go into stock trading! Make someone else rich! They will say thank you! Although, they probably won't.
If you give the keys to your life to someone else, don't act surprised if at any point they decide to kick you out and change the locks.
Escaping the clutches of an evil, manipulative and predatory company by relying on the services of a rival company that didn't become evil, manipulative and predatory yet.
The delay between getting a green light and getting an angry "Hurry up!" honk from the car behind you is measured in milliseconds.
My hair is a mess, and i wear it proudly, for i earned it through hard work and insufficient sleep!
"If simply expressing disagreement with the current policy is enough to turn me into an enemy, then i don't want to have anything to do with such a community."
"Well. That's a higher effort scam than usual, i'll give it that. I'm almost impressed. Those glaring grammar mistakes, though... Nah, too obvious. I don't think anyone could fall for something like- (opens news) Oh, for the love of!..."
Credit card booklets: the definitive source of unprecedented discounts for useless overpriced sh!t.
New plan: go into the past with a small electric motor, a solar panel and an accumulator and sell it as a perpetuum mobile.