Be right back, announcing all of my secrets through a megaphone in the street between the CIA building and the annual crime lord convention.
"The Terms of Service explicitly prohibit speaking poorly of the Service. In the jurisdiction in which the Service operates, breaching the Terms of Service is a criminal offense. Checkmate!"
"Leave the cat alone. I'm pretty sure he'll be able to handle his primary job — being a cat — even without your help."
"Great job, Simon! You're my right-hand man!" — "Maybe, left?" — "No, right! The left left, leaving you the right!"
When setting up some trivial piece of hardware, like a webcam, requires bypassing several OS safety mechanisms, it's probably a good time to stop and think really hard where you went wrong.
When a suspicious-looking man settles in your living room, constantly peering over your shoulder, you don't ask him "Why?" or calculate the benefits and drawbacks. You kick him out.
My car spontaneously decided that Friday evening would be a most fitting time to break down. Now i'm going to be forced to make more phone calls than i normally do in two months.
"It's strange, i don't feel depressed. That, or i have been depressed for so long that i can no longer feel the difference."