ZombieNet

Simon Volpert | @simon@zombienet.org

Philosophy dropout and self-proclaimed synthesist. Handle with care.

When i woke up this morning, i didn't know i was going to be cut off from everything i care about for twelve hours. There probably should be some kind of profound conclusion here, but i can't be arsed.

At times like these, the right thing to ask is, doubtlessly, "When was my last known-good backup?"

From "working okay" to "phone-shaped brick" in less than twenty minutes with minimal human input, incredible. F#*%ing disposable electronics!

Hell hath no fury like a woman who thinks she was scorned.

Sarcastic Video Game Reviewer Hasn't Got a Bad Thing To Say About My Music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-MhTxkBdnU&t=1476

Dear society: You have abused my altruism for unjust self-enrichment. This will have unspecified consequences. Also, you now owe me a hundred.

I missed making music, that's all i can say.

https://simonvolpert.com/aftermath/#console_rush

"Thank you for applying for a position in Serious Tech Company. In order for us to review your application, you need to find a way to bypass our incoming mail filter (we are not allowed to touch it). Looking forward to working with you! Maybe."

Being correct is not equivalent to being right.

I was pointed out, correctly, that not all people who happen to work at the Agency necessarily trust it. I'll rephrase:

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who don't trust the Agency, and those who don't trust the Agency for completely different reasons.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who don't trust the Agency, and those who work there.

"You keep asking me if i know where Mr. NotHereRightNow might be, and you keep getting the same answer. Tracking people is not my job! I don't work at the Agency, sir! Though, i did submit an application once... They didn't answer."

@alexandra
I have a feeling it wouldn't be as funny if you did.

I'm arguing with invisible people in my head. It's hard to imagine a more favorable environment, as they can't throw at me anything i haven't heard before; But i still, somehow, manage to lose.

@alexandra
An acceptable blockchain joke takes a lot of work to get right.

When a prominent tech company rejects all email that doesn't come from one of the five most popular freemail providers, it effectively postulates that anyone capable enough to run their own mail server is overqualified to work there.

"Not on my watch, which ends in fifteen minutes!"

Love will save the world, provided it's of the .44 caliber. #jupiterhell

If you are doing it wrong, but get the desired results, you are probably doing it right.

Correctness is secondary to usefulness.

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