ZombieNet

@mytwobits01
That sounds a lot like something i would say; Does it stem from some of the stimuli from recent days, or is it entirely hypothetical?

Imagine feeling so threatened by your political rival that you end up inventing new laws just so you have something to accuse him of, and corrupting the entire judicial system just to get him on trial. Kafka got nothing on modern politics! He takes a nervous smoke in the corner while taking notes for a new novel.

Honestly, i could do without the daily reminders that there are people who would hate me for simply existing, if only they knew.

In our age of ubiquitous information, not understanding what's really going on is a conscious choice.

Found something resembling poetry from about twenty years ago in a folder on an old disk from four computers ago. Oh, hell no! Into "shred -zu" you go!

"The robber baron who robs you has been generating lots of profit recently. You should invest in them and get a share of the gains!"

A tower defense game, except you're not allowed to kill the invaders and you lose as soon as any of them passes through.

"Achoo!" — "Serves you right!"

One of the fastest ways to teach someone about the futility of violence, is to show them that attacking people hurts. Which is done by violencing the f*#% out of them.

You eat a can of food. You feel uncanny.

Argument from I Knew You Would Say That

@tek
So, let me get this straight. They are bypassing a provider to cut their costs, and then they're lowering the price by 50% instead of making 100% more profit? Dare i say, what kind of ridiculous anticapitalist nonsense is that?

@tek
Don't steal from the rich?! But that's where the money is!...

"I say, you are doing God's work... And I'm an atheist!"

@mytwobits01
I debated with myself whether to write it like that. In the end, i decided to go with the (subjectively) funnier version.

@mytwobits01
There would be a lot more billionaires in the world if it wasn't for those pesky billionaires!... I mean... Uh...

"I haven't found myself yet." — "Oh. Did you check under the couch?"

You can't build a successful business on pure jealousy.

Just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

"Out of office until Thursday. In case of emergency, pray to Cthulhu."