Putting the little shrimp to sleep singing Miracle of Sound's "Little Sister". Best Dad Award candidate, methinks.
"So, who are you going to vote for these elections?" "The Party of Whores and Thieves." — "...Do you have any idea how little this narrows it down?"
I have a genetic defect which prevents my body from producing any fat cells. Before you get all excited, remember that it means i begin starving as soon as my blood sugar runs out. I can assure you, constantly hovering near the brink of starvation is not always fun.
"Someone's listening. Quick, say something smart!" — "I know nothing." — "...Nailed it!"
Even in my dreams i worry about not getting enough rest and [as a result] losing contact with reality.
I'm afraid i managed to get OpenXcom to work on my laptop. See you in a few years subjective.
I have words to express how annoyed i am with current events distorting the mask as a metaphor. They are not particularly nice words.
Suppose that a thief knows when you're not home and for how long, but you know who he is, where he lives, and when he's planning to visit. Will a theft have occurred?
Poor impulse control is one of those things that seem fun to an outside observer, but end up creating problems for everyone involved.
Believing that everybody is lying to you is just setting up getting taken advantage of by someone who will earn your trust by saying everybody is lying to you.
Given the choice, who would you rather side with, those who are right, or those who are not jerks? And, isn't it awfully convenient that those, who are on my side, just so happen to be both at the same time?