"It took me ten years to become comfortable with my sexuality, only to be told now, that being comfortable with my sexuality is 'perverted'. I have to ask: Are you screwing with me?..."
When someone starts talking about what the law is, it means they completely abandoned any hope of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.
"If you're not doing the impossible, it's because you're not trying hard enough."
Real Life has got an unusual game difficulty adjustment scheme. Every time you lose, the difficulty increases. Must be some kind of rogue-like.
"See that great structure over there, with a plaque with my name on it? Marvelous, isn't it? I'm particularly proud of it. I designed the plaque myself.
People have a lot to learn from cats. About resting. About playing... And about being utterly, uncontrollably and unconditionally bipolar.
"Hey, kiddos! Who wants to play a fun game called 'recycling with the natives'?"
Whether or not a particularly good cup of coffee is worth the sleepless night that follows is a philosophical question worthy of an extended debate.
(The coffee was truly delicious.)
(The coffee was truly delicious.)
"Alright, i'm done here. I'm going out of town. Don't look for me, unless the place is on fire."
"Our customers get 24/7 customer support via our toll-free customer support hotline! (Subject to a 45 minute minimum hold. Void where prohibited. Standard restrictions apply.)"
"[Food] doesn't taste much like anything? Try our Flavor [Food]™! With extra [food] flavor!"
My son is getting more girls' phone numbers at the age of eight than i ever got, over the course of my entire life. There's probably a profound lesson here, somewhere, about not skipping your early childhood socializing, or something.
When a wild problem appears, my normal response is to wait. Either the problem goes away on its own, or the delay will have given me enough time to figure out what to do with it.
This strategy works for me more often than it doesn't.
This strategy works for me more often than it doesn't.
"I am a person with opinions and areas of interest. That i need to be specifying this hardly inspires confidence or optimism in this conversation."