One of the non-obvious consequences of getting older is having seen enough that nothing seems profound anymore.
"I guess one can say my life right now includes a significant amount of Dealing With It."
I have to regularly remind myself it's neither my job nor moral obligation to correct the ingrained misconceptions of random people i don't know.
"It took me ten years to become comfortable with my sexuality, only to be told now, that being comfortable with my sexuality is 'perverted'. I have to ask: Are you screwing with me?..."
When someone starts talking about what the law is, it means they completely abandoned any hope of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.
"If you're not doing the impossible, it's because you're not trying hard enough."
Real Life has got an unusual game difficulty adjustment scheme. Every time you lose, the difficulty increases. Must be some kind of rogue-like.
"See that great structure over there, with a plaque with my name on it? Marvelous, isn't it? I'm particularly proud of it. I designed the plaque myself.
People have a lot to learn from cats. About resting. About playing... And about being utterly, uncontrollably and unconditionally bipolar.
"Hey, kiddos! Who wants to play a fun game called 'recycling with the natives'?"
Whether or not a particularly good cup of coffee is worth the sleepless night that follows is a philosophical question worthy of an extended debate.
(The coffee was truly delicious.)
(The coffee was truly delicious.)
"Alright, i'm done here. I'm going out of town. Don't look for me, unless the place is on fire."
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"[Food] doesn't taste much like anything? Try our Flavor [Food]™! With extra [food] flavor!"
My son is getting more girls' phone numbers at the age of eight than i ever got, over the course of my entire life. There's probably a profound lesson here, somewhere, about not skipping your early childhood socializing, or something.