"You gained a glimpse into the mind of another human being, a mind similar to your own, yet different. As such, not everything you see can be expected to make sense."
Inflation: A clever way to spend more money than you have maintaining an overgrown, cumbersome and inefficient government apparatus, run projects i do not approve, and write the debt off afterwards, all out of my pocket.
A thing is considered a thing, when it fits the definition for the thing. If i have to explain this, we will have trouble communicating.
"My god can kick your god's ass with seven of his arms and three of his legs tied!"
He, who develops a device that, upon receiving the voice command "F#*%- Did you SEE that?!" automatically uploads 30 seconds of preceding and following video footage to the traffic police FTP server, has every chance to become a millionaire.
"My muscles ache, i'm tired, i feel lonely and miserable." — "You? Someone so insightful and self-aware? How can you possibly feel lonely and miserable?!" — (defiantly) "Watch me."
"Doesn't it ever bother you, having such good memory?" — "No. It's forgetting things that does."
Something happened today, but i couldn't find a way to make a joke about it, so it didn't.
The argument to end all arguments: "It is below my dignity to participate in this argument."
Bumper sticker of the day: "My house may be on fire, but my favorite show is on TV."
"Sacred Book is absolutely, unquestionably true, because it is word of God. We know this to be so, because Sacred Book says so, right here, here and here."
In a sense, lying to someone is indirectly admitting their superiority. Were they no threat to you whatsoever, you wouldn't need to lie. Indeed, a true Übermensch would be so horrifyingly indifferent to your opinion, that the phrase "brutally honest" would sound like a *cosmic* understatement.
"When you are right, you are right, and nothing can be done about it!" — "Well, if i'm right, then... You know what, never mind. Things will make themselves apparent, in due time." — "...Right you are!"
I hear about mass protests somewhere from the news, and my first thought is: "Wow! Are all those people single and unemployed?..."
"Isn't going by your real name on the Internet a severe risk?" — "Don't you already live in a region with higher than average risk of earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, volcano eruptions, bombings and alien invasions?..." — "Oh! Right."
Words CAN explain how insulting "I know what I'm talking about" is to someone who ACTUALLY knows what they are talking about. They aren't particularly NICE words, however.
Something tells me that banking might be the largest, longest-running and most insanely successful get-rich-quick scheme in the history of mankind so far.